Cool digs for the new year!

Inspiring Documentary

This documentary might be the best, most inspiring, documentary I have ever seen.  It profiles the inspirational figure of Dewey Bozella, a man who was imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit. He found strength in boxing during his unjust incarceration, becoming light heavyweight champion of the notoriously tough Sing Sing prison in New York. And although he was given the chance to walk free after six years if he just admitted the murder, he maintained his innocence, spending 26 years inside until he was finally exonerated. This revealing documentary follows his attempt to fulfil his dream of fighting in a professional boxing match, at the age of 52.  The roller coaste ride of a documentary puts my challenges in perspective.  It shows the strength of will and the power inside each and every one of us.  

It is currently streaming on Netflix, or you can scope the YouTube video below.  

real world learning

This month marks my two year anniversary of the real world.  It's been real.  I think that the transformation I've experienced over the past two years has been more dramatic than at any point in the past.  It's been an interesting transformation not only for me, but with my friends from high school, college, and post-school.  More than ever, we are more independent and autonomous in our views of life, passions, social circles, and careers.  The learning lessons I've had over the past two year have shaped me into a person I am proud of.  I believe that these points summarize, on some level, how I have changed.  More importantly, they point to valuable learning lessons that will guide me moving forward.  

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.

2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.

3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.

4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.

5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.

6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.

7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.

8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.

9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.

10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.

11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.

12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.

14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.

15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.

16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.

17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.

18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.

19. Stop being afraid. 

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/19-things-you-should-stop-doing-in-your-20s/#jAgCxG2eeXjpVJB7.99 

Jimmy V

This speech can really put things in perspective... "...enjoy your life, the precious moments you have." -Jimmy V

Happiness -- Riccar Matthieu

Words of wisdom about the path to happiness.  Some good stuff. 

"Happiness is not an endless succession of pleasurable experiences. That’s a recipe for exhaustion, not for happiness. Happiness is a way of being that comes with altruistic love, inner strength, inner freedom, and serenity – and it can be cultivated as a skill, day after day, month after month. In recent years, the collaboration of contemplatives with neuroscientists has shown that, thanks to the brain’s plasticity, we can train our mind to become more compassionate, more mindful and to achieve greater inner peace, just as someone who trains to play the piano or learn how to read and write. Any training changes the brain and this is true for training the basic qualities of our minds that altogether constitute genuine happiness.

The pursuit of happiness is intimately linked with altruism. There’s no such thing as a successful, selfish happiness. The French writer Romain Rolland said that if the only goal of your life is selfish happiness, your life will soon be without any goal. It doesn’t work. It’s a lose/lose situation. You make yourself miserable and you make everyone miserable around you. It’s also at odds with reality; we are not separate entities. We need to recognize our interconnectedness and develop a sense of global responsibility. So loving kindness and compassion are not only the most positive of all emotional states, they are state of mind that is in harmony with the interconnectedness of all beings – therefore they will work, they will help us and all around us to flourish in life. It is now a win/win situation.

Altruism, again, is not a minor component of happiness. It is at the core of happiness because altruism is based on recognizing the fundamental interdependence of all beings, on recognizing that just like us, all sentient being want to avoid suffering and find happiness. If we look at the challenges of our modern times, it is very hard for people to reconcile three apparently competing time scales. First there is the short term that concerns of our fast moving economy, with its super high speed transactions and people claiming that this is the hard reality and that everything else has to be sacrificed to it. The midterm concerns the quality of life, and long term concerns of the environment.

The concept of altruism is the only one that can connect meaningful those three times scale. People with more consideration for others will not gamble with the savings of people who trust them, as if at a casino, for the sake of a big bonus. With more consideration for others, one will do everything possible to make things better – at the workplace, within the family, within their professions – so that people can flourish in life. And having more consideration for others, one will not sacrifice and jeopardize the only home that we have, this earth."

More of his writing can be found here. 

Boss

Found this essay written by Albert Einstein called "The World As I See It".

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.

"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

Dude was a boss.

Take a second.

I just read this blog post, then re-read it, then let it soak in.  Some very insightful points in this article.  It almost presents life's harshest realities in five key points.  What I'm left with is more questions for myself.  I think it's important to take a step back and have deep thought and careful consideration into your path.  Take the time to think about your life.  Strive for happiness and let those before you guide your behavior.

This blog post was found here.

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five: 


1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. 

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard. 

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. 

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. 

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win. 


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. 

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships. 


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. 

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. 


Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Love Everybody

This is the closest depiction of what Stay Positive aims to be.  A positive perspective of society that is represented every single day by all of us.

Health/Wealth of the World

Pretty sweet visual presentation of the health and wealth of the world over the past 200 years.  A really cool presentation as well.

Small Tips for Happiness

Ran across this awesome thread on Quora that I enjoyed reading through.  It's all about finding small things that can make you happier.  Many are what you'd expect, but others are pretty cool.  Below are some of my highlights:

When I arrive home from work, the very first thing I tell my wife is the best thing that happened that day. No exceptions. No complaining. Just the best thing that day, even if it was just a good cup of coffee. This had the effect of starting our evening off on a positive note and it changed our relationship.

"assume positive intent". All this means is that when someone does something that upsets you -- like cuts you off in traffic -- assume they're just trying to get through their day and in no way, shape or form were targeting you. There was no malice, just an awkward move in a fast-moving world. This little nugget has helped me immensely.

Move closer to where you work -- even if the home you can afford is smaller.  Studies have shown that a small home near your work will tend to make you happier than a large home with a long commute.   Not only is a bigger house more work to clean and maintain, you have less time to do it because of all the commuting.

Don't compare yourself to others! The conditions that brought about their achievements are vastly different than yours, no matter how similar as you two may seem. Focus on your own successes and learn from your own mistakes. 

Be very, very careful about which outcomes you attach your happiness to.

make your friends feel good. Thank them,  congratulate them, smile at them, celebrate their successes. They'll  return the favor, and everybody wins. And don't return calls from people  who don't operate this way.

Also, when things go wrong, don't sweat it. Tomorrow is a new day. Few problems are permanent, and most can be fixed quickly. Fix what you can, accept what you can't, and always look forward.

Smile

Sickness!

This video is grossly cool.

New Jams

I've been listening to a ton of awesome music recently which I wanted to share.  Enjoy.

Rodrigo y Gabriella -- Logos

The Black Box Revelation -- Love Licks

Tame Impala -- Elephant

Swedish House Mafia -- Greyhound

The Stone Foxes -- I'm a King Bee

Kid Cudi -- Just What I Am

Thrice -- Beggars

Mastermind

Last week I started a group in San Francisco among a small group of friends.  We call it Mastermind (although the name is going to change), and the goal is to help one another accomplish goals, try new things, and establish a support structure for every member in the group.  I originally developed the idea while talking with someone in Arizona, who had done this with an organization, ProjectU.  I thought the idea had an amazing application to Stay Positive and decided it was worth trying here in SF.

This group has a few key objectives:
-Time to share something positive, and something new & awesome for every member in the group
-Time for each member to share a challenge or goal they are looking to accomplish, and have the group brainstorm collectively on how that person can overcome their challenge or accomplish their goal
-Time to create an action plan over a few weeks where they can pursue a specific goal
-Partnering with another member to bring accountability and support to your goal
-A group project that every member participates in

The first meeting was extremely positive and constructive towards building a better me.  It instilled a fire that will help me move in the right direction and accomplish things that I wouldn't otherwise.

I'm excited to see how this group progresses over the next couple weeks.  It's my hope that every member finds value, so that it can organically grow into a tight-knit community of young professionals with a focus on positive change.

If you want to learn more, feel free to email me.  I've been so energized by this and would love if you want to be involved.

"be nice to the people around you and go do something positive" -

Positivity Exercise

I'm going to start doing this.  Cool little exercise that requires minimal time.  I first heard this last year from LinkedIn's CEO and came across it again today on a cool forum.

Every day (at the very start or end) think of, and write down, 3 things that you're thankful for (it can be anything, no matter how trivial or minor.  Keep an open log and track it over time.

Simple and easy.  If you try it out and find value, let me know what you think!  I'll be sharing my experience with this in the next couple weeks.

Funny Videos

Ran across this on Quora the other day and was super excited to find this gem.  Reddit's Best 30 Second Videos on Youtube provides 89 hilarious videos that are all short and sweet.   Here are a few of my favorites.  

If I have a girl...

I've always been under the impression that if I had a kid it would need to be a boy.  I think I may be reconsidering?

Some Cool Pics for You!

This is a very random collection of cool pictures.  Hopefully something here for everyone.  Enjoy.

Dream Bigger

Stay Positive

Jumping from space

is so positive.

The song playing is kind of lame, but this whole thing was super sick.

My City

Check out this sweet depiction of San Francisco.  SO cool.  A beautiful city.

Consciousness

LinkedIn just added a cool new feature where you can follow thought leaders around the world.  I was going through these different people, and ran across Deepak Chopra.  Like me, you've probably never heard of him, but his tagline was "The Conscious Lifestyle" so it led me to read more.  He had the following post which is focused on the topic of consciousness.  I'm excited to follow his posts in the future, as I'm sure they will outline a way to build a sustainable system of positive affrirmation in the day-to-day.  If you've followed my blog, you know that I preach this component as key to maintaining a positive lifestyle.  

Take a look at his first below, and follow him here.  

Becoming more conscious will make you more successful in every area of life. That’s the theme I proposed in the first post of this series. This is an area that is vastly neglected by most people.  They approach life on a day-to-day basis doing three things: 1. Following a set routine 2. Coping with challenges as they come up and 3. Fulfilling short-term desire.

These three things fill everyone's day is roughly the order listed. Routine dominates. Even the thoughts we have today are generally the same thoughts we had yesterday.  Next come the everyday obligations and duties of life, punctuated by challenges, big or small. Last comes desire, which usually means eating when you're hungry, looking for a little bonding with someone else, whether as love, companionship, or sex, and distracting yourself in order to wind down.

If your day follows this profile, there's nothing bad going on (one hopes), but not much consciousness is involved. The hidden potential that doesn't get expressed lacks in only one place: your awareness. As you open your awareness, life opens its possibilities at the same time. Routine is replaced by new input into the brain. There is less need for distraction. When the fulfillment of desire comes, it sinks deeper and gives you more satisfaction.

The way to start arises from what you want to achieve.

To escape the mindlessness of routine, you need to break your routine.

To keep daily challenges from overwhelming you, you need new coping mechanisms.

To fulfill more of your desires, you need a vision that includes those things that would truly fulfill your existence.

Stand back and consider these three things carefully, because that is how you bring awareness to a situation that is running on automatic pilot. Sit down with the following lists:

My Routine - Write down the parts of your daily that are the most boring, unsatisfying, and mechanical. Now think of three specific ways to improve those areas. The key here is inertia. Routines cramp your life by creeping in over time. Announce to yourself that you welcome something new and unknown. Then pursue it, no matter how small a change you might manage at first. 

My coping skills - Look at how you deal with everyday challenges. Bad coping mechanisms range from denial and avoidance to rationalization, procrastination, blaming others, and digging in your heels.  Good coping skills include taking responsibility, listening to others, asking for help, consulting wise advice, standing back and becoming objective, controlling emotional impulses, and making a sound plan to follow.  Look at where you are weak in these areas and write down alternatives to your present coping pattern. 

My desires - Write down what you want to achieve, not as a goal in your career, but for yourself as a person.  You might want to be more loved and able to love, to be of service, to appreciate and be appreciated, to be rid of anxiety, to benefit everyone around you, to earn respect, or to become more spiritual.  The key is to tune in to your core self. The core self is where deep fulfillment arises, not from distractions and momentary desires. Write down the qualities of the core self that you want to tune into: love, compassion, strength, truth, power, focused attention, wisdom, and so on. Make these your priority from today onward.

I've given you an overview only. In the next three posts I'll discuss each of these areas in turn, since they give an opening for a more conscious lifestyle that can benefit everyone.